Sleep

Picture this: you're on an unforgettable ride at Disney, enthralled by the magical experience. Now imagine a journey even more mysterious - the world of sleep! This episode takes you through our personal sleep stories, from those childhood nights scared of the dark, to the sleepless nights of adulthood and parenthood. We're peeling back the layers on how our sleep patterns have evolved and how it intimately connects to our mental and physical well-being. 

Every wondered how your night's rest impacts your daily life? We delve into how everything from your mood to your creativity, memory and even your stress levels are all linked to your quality of sleep. We also discuss how technology and lifestyle habits can prove to be obstacles in our pursuit of a good night's sleep. But fear not! We offer practical tips and discuss effective techniques to help you achieve better sleep. From sound machines to specific pre-bed routines, we've got you covered. 

As we wrap up, we dive into the fascinating world of dreams and explore the effects of sleep deprivation on our brains. We share stories of our own bizarre dreamscapes and even our nightmares, and reflect on what they might reveal about our inner thoughts and desires. Ultimately, we emphasize the importance of prioritizing your sleep - because your well-being depends on it. So, sit back, relax and let's unravel the mysteries of sleep together!

Transcript

Sam: 0:10

Welcome to Babe. What Do you Know About the podcast with your favorite husband and wife duo Sam

Tayla: 0:16

and Tayla. Each week we dive deep into a new subject, blending fun and seriousness to push boundaries and buttons.

Sam: 0:24

Get ready to expand your knowledge, challenge your perspectives and have a blast along the way Did you even have a favorite part of Disneyland that you enjoyed. I really liked the Screamin California roller coaster ride.

Tayla: 0:52

Yes, so good, it's the Incredicoster. Now Right? Do you want to tell the story of like getting on at the last second?

Sam: 1:01

Yeah, so I think it was day two. Day two, I think, yeah, yeah, you know, finally get Ella to sleep at like nine o'clock.

Tayla: 1:14

Yeah, it was late.

Sam: 1:16

And then we rush off back to the park and we're just like, well, let's get on the you know the floating ride, what's it called?

Tayla: 1:28

The, but you guys know, I mean soaring, soaring, that's it. Oh yeah, soaring.

Sam: 1:33

Yeah, soaring over the world, whatever, it's a lovely majestic kind of ride. And then we're like, well, let's just see if we can squeeze on the, the freaking splash ride, whatever that one's called.

Tayla: 1:47

Yeah, it's like we're in a round tube and you go in a river and you go down some slides and and it's close, close to closing time.

Sam: 1:54

It's probably like nine 40 at this point and we're and so, but we just walked straight onto the ride on that one. It was crazy.

Tayla: 2:01

Yeah, I actually think it was more like nine, 50 by the time we got off.

Sam: 2:06

No yeah.

Tayla: 2:07

I'm just talking about when we got on.

Sam: 2:08

So when we got on it was like nine, 40. And then by the time we got off we looked at our, it was actually close in that it was probably like nine 55.

Tayla: 2:15

Yeah, we had like six, seven minutes.

Sam: 2:18

And we're like, let's see, just see if we can run across the park, because we have to run across the park to get to the roller coaster ride streaming in California, the credit coaster that's called now. And yeah, I just booked it with your brother, dean.

Tayla: 2:36

I booked it slower with my mom.

Sam: 2:39

And we got there literally with one minute to spare, while me and Dean did. And then you guys came on the yeah, on the dots, and they let us in. And then we were the last ones on the roller coaster which I loved.

Tayla: 2:51

I didn't expect that they would literally just turn off everything, though, even though I thought they'd keep everything on until the last ride. Riders had gone, but the lights were off, everything was off, so it was pretty wild, but it was awesome Like it was pretty crazy. I enjoyed that a lot. And then you did a crazy thing right towards the end.

Sam: 3:10

Oh yeah, so so bizarre, like on the last, like turns. You know, I had my hands out and I hear this. I felt this pretty hard whack on my hand and I was. I looked at it and there's a coin sitting in the fat of my hand and I'm just like I think he was next to me, you were next to me. Maybe I was like I caught a coin.

Tayla: 3:35

Yeah, and I just thought I was like you're lying, you're just being stupid, like I genuinely thought you brought a coin to like tell me that story. It was wild. Someone must have chucked it.

Sam: 3:46

I have no idea, like yeah, how that happened or what it meant, or geez, I don't know, you got a lucky nickel. Yeah, it was fun.

Tayla: 3:56

It was fun to have your parents and my parents there. Your parents had never gone to Disneyland. Our kids did great. The problem was so a lot of, tons of magical moments. But the problem was is our three year old Ella just really struggled to sleep. So she was going off of like four hours of sleep the one day and then maybe five hours of sleep the next day and just kind of losing like she just was not as resilient as she usually is, and the problem was is, she would go to sleep late and then Max would wake up at five am, an hour early, and so we also did not get much sleep.

Sam: 4:36

Yeah, so the first night I got like two, two three and then the second night I got like four, so you got better throughout the trip.

Tayla: 4:44

But it was rough. I was just like how is she not crashing? Because she's a good sleeper? She really is, but it was just wild to see this poor little brain just trying to chug at it with all this stimulation. She actually got so overstimulated we had to put like noise cancelling headphones on her for the rest of the trip, which helped a lot. So poor thing. But speaking of sleep or lack thereof, speaking of sleep. I'm going to do my little intro. So sleep, an enigmatic phenomenon that consumes a significant portion of our lives.

Sam: 5:20

That's a lot of big words, I know.

Tayla: 5:23

On average, humans spend about one third of their lives sleeping. But sleep is far from being a mere state of rest. It is a complex process that plays a crucial role in our overall wellbeing. During sleep, our bodies undergo a series of intricate physiological changes our brain brain, our brain waves. Our brain waves slow down, our breathing becomes rhythmic and our muscles relax. This restorative period allows our bodies to repair and regenerate, boosting our immune system and promoting optimal cognitive function.

Tayla: 5:57

But the science of sleep goes beyond its physical benefits. Sleep is intricately linked to our mental health and emotional wellbeing. Lack of sleep can lead to myriad of issues, including impaired memory, decreased concentration and heightened stress levels. In fact, studies have shown that chronic sleep deprivation can increase the risk of developing conditions such as depression, anxiety and even certain chronic diseases. Furthermore, sleep plays a vital role in memory consolidation. It is during sleep that our brains process and store information, helping us retain what we've learned and experienced throughout the day. So if you're looking to enhance your learning abilities or boost your creativity, a good night's sleep might just be the secret ingredient you need. Either way, babe, what do you know about sleep and the science of sleep?

Sam: 6:49

Man, I used to hate sleep.

Tayla: 6:52

Not all kids.

Sam: 6:54

No, I mean up until like 10 years ago.

Tayla: 6:58

Oh, I mean, don't all children? Yeah, I'm just kidding.

Sam: 7:02

Up until recently, you know, probably maybe a couple of years before kids, yeah, sleep wasn't a super top priority. But now it has become, I'd say, top one or two on my priority list as a good night's rest, Like literally for the last six months I think it is I've been pushing for going to bed by like 1030, where it sounds bizarre to me, like even just saying it out loud, because really like the bar for the earliest I go to bed. Before then I'd say probably like midnight.

Tayla: 7:34

Yeah, midnight one.

Sam: 7:35

Yeah, and now it's like 10 o'clock rolls around and I'm going Tayla, let's go to bed.

Tayla: 7:40

Tayla, Tayla, Tayla.

Sam: 7:41

Tayla, let's go to bed.

Tayla: 7:43

I'm 10 years behind you. I'm 10 years younger than you, so maybe that's why I'm definitely more of a night owl. Yeah, and I think you are too.

Sam: 7:52

I'm just thinking about just how wrecked I'm going to feel in the morning. Because right now, like because Ella's sleeping in perfectly right now, she sleeps until about 730, but Max is sometimes.

Tayla: 8:04

Still around six.

Sam: 8:05

Still around six. The bad mornings are like 530 and the good mornings are like 630. So, if you know, I just stopped functioning at a high level, you know, and so that's why, like six months ago, I was like I just as much as I'm enjoying, you know, having a learned time, adult time, you know, at night it's like I rather just sleep.

Tayla: 8:27

Yeah, I will say sleep has not been a very important Well. I have functioned off a very little sleep most of my life. Now, very little sleep is not like an insomniac. I don't think I'm at that level, but I am at the level where I like I am pretty resilient on little sleep. But I want to like push all the way back, back back to your relationship with sleep as a child, because a lot of these parenting groups that I'm in a lot of them like parents are really concerned with their kid's sleep habits because they study show that they very much affect the sleep habits into adulthood and in perpetuity throughout someone's life.

Tayla: 9:12

So what was sleep like for you as a baby, as a young child?

Sam: 9:16

So I don't know what sleep was like for me as a baby, but I do. Your parents haven't like, said no, and I wonder if they even remember at this point.

Tayla: 9:26

You're so old, no right.

Sam: 9:30

But I do remember being a little kid and having my own room for quite a few years and I told the brothers would have you know they would be in a room together and then I would be in a room. I shared a room with my older brother for a little bit and then he graduated to share a room with the big boy.

Sam: 9:50

So that was sometime, like these memories are, sometime between like four and six and, yeah, bedtime would be like pretty soon after dinner. We didn't really do much TV growing up, just a little bit, I think. We'd watch like 30 minutes to an hour at most, yeah, and then we'd have a bedtime routine. From what I remember, it was like a story say a prayer, get tucked into bed, parents would go close the door, turn off the lights and I mean I slept pretty good, like I wouldn't fight sleep. But there was a point I think it was like six, seven or eight something around there I remember that I started to listen to music on a tape recorder to go to sleep.

Tayla: 10:38

And it helped. Yeah, oh, okay yeah.

Sam: 10:42

So like I I'd listen to like just old stuff like the Beatles, the King Singers, just like very chill kind of music, Like you know well, chill but happy kind of music, positive music, and just a tape recorder, like on my bed very quietly, and that was like a phase, and then I think that went away. You know, sometimes like 10. And then I just get tired from sports all day and then crash, go to sleep.

Tayla: 11:07

Cool Okay.

Sam: 11:08

That's as much as I can remember.

Tayla: 11:09

Yeah, um, I remember. I'm not positive how I was as a baby, but I must not have been terrible enough for my parents to complain. Um, but from the earliest time I can remember, I was plagued with terrible, terrible dreams, like every single night night terrors.

Tayla: 11:32

I can remember them still, like 29 years old. I can remember dreams I had as a five year old, as a four year old, and so I was. I think that did affect like my relationship with sleep. I it's not like I afford it, at least not to my parents, but I stayed awake in bed a lot. Um, in fact I remember, um, I also loved to read and had very little time to read, and so that was another thing. I would rather like try to stay awake in my bed to read.

Tayla: 12:03

And so I remember telling my parents that I was afraid of the dark which wasn't inaccurate but it wasn't as bad as I thought so that they'd leave the passage light on and there would be like a sliver of light through the crack in the door that I would like typewriter like, slide back and forth my book so I could read still. But I would often lie there like mostly praying and begging God, please do not let me have a bad dream. And then inevitably I would and I would. I knew it bothered my parents for me to go in there, so as as much as I could prevent it, I would, but I would just be frozen in my bed awake for a while, or I'd go to my parents bed. They'd let me sleep in there for a while but I didn't sleep. I would stay awake for the most part, still terrified, and then eventually they would move me back to my other bed which I would stay terrified in and then eventually fall back asleep.

Tayla: 12:52

So that's like my childhood memories of sleep. Again, it's not like I didn't like it, I just was petrified all the time. I just didn't like that time because I knew I was gonna be transformed to a place I wouldn't be happy in. Obviously, now looking back as an adult, you know I know that I was a sexual abuse victim at the time, so that makes sense like why I was having all those dreams. But obviously you don't know that as a child and no one else knew, and blah blah. But as a teenager and as I grew up and like you I did just tons of sports it was thing to thing to think, to think like every single day booked. We didn't have a lot of TV in the evenings either, just like I said on other episodes like Survivor or American Idol, as a family for the hour that it was on, once or twice a week. You know, I enjoyed sleeping. I slept deeply. And what was sleep like for you, as you kind of became an adult?

Sam: 13:49

I didn't have parents affecting, you know, your schedule had other factors like homework and all that kind of young adult sleep young adult meant I slept so little when I was in college because I, you know, for various, various reasons at various stages when I was first in college, is because I was taking like 22 credits. It was one of those and we spent all day at university. And then, like afterwards, I try to be social because I stayed on campus all day yeah and because I had nine classes as well, it's about to put that many in.

Sam: 14:26

And then I try be social afterwards, and then you know, you drive home at like three o'clock in the morning and then wake up and do it again the next day, go to an early morning class and stay on campus all day, and then again, when I said the University of Utah, even though it was less credits, I think it was something only like 18, but I was also working part time.

Sam: 14:46

But I was working part time at multiple places yeah and so it was like I would do school in the morning and then in the afternoon I was a planning analyst for the Church of Jesus Christ of the Day Saints, and then in the evenings I would well, actually well, night time I was an event host at the stadium, and then on top, then after that I would do warehouse work for some South South African friends and, you know, try make a little bit of extra money and then, after you try, in between all that you know, squeeze and dating and getting homework done.

Sam: 15:25

So it's like very little sleep, but I'm thinking like on average like four hours and that kind of thing. But at that age you kind of just always feel like you're, you have enough energy once you're awake.

Sam: 15:34

You're awake and you're good, it's just that transition period. That was hard back then. But yeah, yeah, that's that's pretty much what you just like. I said I kind of hated sleep for a long period of time because I was so productive, but like a waste, yeah, like I was just just had so much energy that it really was like you just crash and then get up and go again and the same thing. You know, when I was doing music in Miami, it was the same way. It was like, you know, you'd work on, you know, music production during the day and other things during the business, things during the day, but then at night time you're out socializing and networking with people at clubs or events or shows and you really are like because the main actor only comes on it like one o'clock in the morning.

Sam: 16:15

So you're there until late and you know sometimes they actually do like a morning like show kind of thing. So then you crash for a couple hours, wake up and do it again. But there's this period in your life where you just feel like you can just go go, go yeah which is now has sunset with the children it's a different kind of tired, you know yeah, no, I, I had a very similar college experience.

Tayla: 16:40

I was also working multiple jobs, also remaining social, also working on good, good grades and going to school full-time. 16, 17 credits, not 22, that's psychotic, but um, yeah, I remember like getting up, being in an 8 am class, then going to nanny for three hours and then going to my other job, like on campus, for three hours and then doing homework. And mine was a very like time-consuming homework, studies, reading until midnight, kind of hanging out. At the same time I'd kind of switch. You know, I was either hanging out then doing homework from midnight on, or hanging out and then doing home yeah, or you, you know what I mean, and so I would usually crawl in bed around three and then and then do it over again.

Tayla: 17:32

Yeah, I just people always asked me like, oh, did you? How were you social? And I'm just like I just didn't sleep. Looking back, I probably could have done much better at school if I had slept and, like the intro said, like that's when you download everything you've just experienced and memorized and processed throughout the day and I just wasn't taking the time to do that.

Tayla: 17:53

But I functioned off a very little sleep for a long time. When we first got married and I just got my first full-time job and had no homework and no responsibilities outside of that, it was wild and probably slept the most. We still went to bed late, but I could sleep until nine. Nine was normal, and then I. That's when I noticed I think my sleep habits are to go to bed around one and just keep sleeping until nine or nine, thirty. That was ideal for me, like that's where my body felt like awesome.

Tayla: 18:23

Then kids rolled along and you know it's actually wild for me hormones just like took over and when we had the newborn and I was sleeping an hour at a time, 24 7 I somehow functioned and I actually was. I felt energetic. My mom would be like go lie down and sleep and I'd go lie down and just like lie there with wide eyes because I was like I cannot sleep. But that eventually wears out. Two, three months down the road is when I just start being like I cannot get up at 6 am or 5 am, like I can't do it, and that's when I think I start to slow down.

Sam: 19:01

But you don't have those hormones the same way when you we have a newborn no, no, that nursing schedules got to be brutal, like so you're kind enough in those. You know when you could on like the early morning, late night feeds, you just like I'll just keep doing it because with Ella we would do the switch off. And then eventually you're like I'll just, you know, do that yeah we had this amazing plan.

Tayla: 19:27

I was like equity, you know, in a relationship with a newborn. Like I will sleep and we can take it in turns, like you can do a feed and I can do a feed.

Tayla: 19:35

Then I freaking realized I would have to get up to pump any way and I was like you've got to be kidding me, so there is no point in you also being up and miserable with me. I will just feed her and then you know you would do one bottle a day in the evenings just to like get our babies used to. It was just helpful, but yeah, I was just like this is just my boon if I want to breastfeed, which I did, so yeah but here we are now here we are now, so let's kind of get into a couple of questions that I have.

Tayla: 20:08

So how to sleep? Or I guess maybe a more generalized question why do you think and in what ways do you think that sleep affects our mood and our, like, emotional well-being? I guess?

Sam: 20:28

all right, I'm complete non-science on so, because I did zero research on this.

Tayla: 20:34

So from what.

Sam: 20:36

I understand is sleep basically helps balance in a with the chemicals in our brain. So there's like what's a cortisol buildup. You know stress when we sleep unless you're, I guess, maybe having nightmares all night we, you know, we produce more of the the good chemicals in our brain and so when you wake up, you've got more capacity for things because you've got, you know, more of the positive chemicals in your brain. You also Rested in terms of your, like, actual physics, not just your brain but your actual physical body. Yeah, so just overall, you got you know what's it more fuel in the tank. You got More capacity to to deal with Stressful things because you haven't been dealing with, you know, like I said, the cortisol Throughout your day.

Sam: 21:30

Yeah so yeah, that's my, you know and have you?

Tayla: 21:35

have you seen that Personally like that's matching.

Sam: 21:38

Oh, absolutely so. You know, I think when I was younger I didn't have the need for that, you know, because I felt like maybe my life was so positive in so many ways that I didn't need as much sleep. But with the, with the lack of sleep and also the stress of having kids, you do have that build up, and so I mean that's again like six Months ago it was like I reached a point where I was like I Rather just not have my own time and just go to bed. So that's, I'm not feeling that in the morning, because when I feel in the morning, it just I Would be so slow at my job, you know, for the next few hours while I'm like warming up my brain, you know, like adding all the slow, slowly turning

Sam: 22:20

adding all the positive experiences. So now in the mornings, you know I'm it's a lot easier to have capacity and patience, you know, with the kids in the mornings because you're like, hey, I had enough sleep loss. Not well close to enough sleep loss, not to where. You're like, good morning Ella, good morning max, let's go play for a bit, you know. So yeah, I'm notice a massive difference and I bet In 10 years time I'm gonna be all about naps. I'm gonna be napping.

Tayla: 22:47

I just know, I can feel it. Your parents are there right now.

Sam: 22:51

My parents were napping favorite thing since, since in the 30s I think they were napping every Sunday they had to send like yeah, sunday naps.

Tayla: 22:59

My parents had the same thing when they could too, but that's what happens when you have four or five kids, I feel like especially oh, can I share the DP?

Tayla: 23:07

over here but the one thing that I have noticed Definitely that emotional side for me, or my moodiness, is affected by it more and more the older I get. But it was really interesting watching Ella during our Disneyland trip. I like could see her brain Like breaking. You know, that's what I was, that's what I was Afraid of. I was watching her not be herself in any way like it was just this lizard brain, overstimulated, crack, crackly kid.

Tayla: 23:43

I don't know how to explain that, but the moment she has gotten back into a sleep routine Since we've been back, she's herself again.

Tayla: 23:50

Yep, so watching that was actually very good for me to be like, uh, that's happening to you in these other ways and I do think you know, because this is how you process things, that if you don't get enough sleep, I definitely carry with me the previous day and then Sometimes you're carrying a couple days with you. If you're really that low on sleep, that can be a really heavy thing to try and you know expel and I definitely felt that like around finals weeks I don't know if you experienced this, but I was just like would sleep a lot less even than I, the little I was already doing, and Definitely by the end of finals week I would physically actually get sick Without it. Without a doubt, after I took my last final, I was sick within 24 hours for like a week down, having to rest, having to sleep, having to take the time, because I just couldn't recover like I carried too many days with me.

Tayla: 24:46

Yeah so, um, it's just interesting to see and and hard to see, but your dad has like insomnia.

Sam: 24:56

Yeah, I don't. I don't know what the diagnosis would be, but he has an interesting. He's had an interesting sleep habit, from what I understand, for the last 20 years Maybe even more at this point where he will sleep like in like four-hour shifts, so he'll sleep four hours and then he's up and wired for a couple hours and then he'll go back to bed and sleep another four hours and then he'll work half a day, take a nap for two hours and then work another half a day and so he has a pretty. You know he's sleeping a lot but it's very broken up.

Tayla: 25:28

Yeah, which is so interesting. I mean, it seems to work for him, like whenever he is. Maybe it's just him getting used to it over Literal decades of experiencing it, but he's always been pretty positive. He's like yeah, it works for me, like I'm just you know he's figured out his routine.

Tayla: 25:45

It sounds horrible to me, like the couple times that I have been Unable to sleep. So not just that like I'm too busy, but like I'm lying in bed, can't full of sleep. That is hell, horrible, like one of the worst things in the world. When you know you, you need to sleep and you can't have you had that before?

Sam: 26:03

I mean every. I mean so. One of the things worth how my brain works is that it's it's constantly thinking so every, not I actually put on something to distract myself, so just audio.

Tayla: 26:20

True, you do.

Sam: 26:21

I do, but but very quiet, you know, it's just running to my head and so I'll just put on a YouTube video and I'll yeah, I'll fall asleep within the next like five to 15 minutes doing that. If I don't, I could be up, you know, 48 hours.

Tayla: 26:35

That pretty easily which has happened yeah.

Sam: 26:38

So I make sure just to do that, because I like to if I don't take that moment to you know, be mindful and to separate from and to distract from Problem-solving, like I will just stand problem-solving mode the whole time.

Tayla: 26:53

So I, if I listen to something I will want to, my brain will keep listening to it. So I won't, I don't like fall asleep because I'll be like, oh, what, what, I missed that. And then I'll Like, if I was falling asleep, my brain will will remind me, oh, you missed about five minutes and I'll go back five minutes because I don't like to miss anything. You know that yeah, tv shows. If I'm just leaving the room for a second, I want that paused so I can catch everything.

Sam: 27:19

Yeah, so, so this. So maybe I'll help imagine what it feels like. So I have like 20, I mean. So I'm saying 20 for conversations in my head at one time trying to Resolve certain things, and what's nice about it is that sometimes describing ADHD.

Sam: 27:34

Yes, yeah, okay so sometimes it's very beneficial because I can connect problems or solutions in creative ways, but other times, like going to bed, it's very Bad because it's very hard to shut that all off. So it's all of a sudden out of left field. I've got this air horn just going Like, and so it's nice because it's Kelly Clarkson.

Tayla: 27:57

Yeah, you're you're, you're.

Sam: 27:59

So it just kind of drowns out all those other things, because all of a sudden Part of my brain is just listening to that singular source and that is like peace. So I just I crash almost immediately.

Tayla: 28:12

Okay, so that's, that's resonating. So this is something I did want to talk about as well is like what the science shows Contributes to good sleep and why so many people struggle with either not enough sleep or bad quality of sleep. And this is the stimulation over stimulation. Obviously, for you, that's gonna work differently because your brain is a little yeah and so Having something to like zero in on, even if it's quote-unquote Stimulating, is working for you because it's less stimulating than just your normal brain.

Sam: 28:41

Yeah, so like, what's hilarious is like I'll, I can down a giant red bull and a coffee and then go straight to sleep. It's not not wild, it's not a problem, like it just doesn't not a problem, doesn't have that same effect, but you leave me with silence and all of a sudden I'm like okay, leave me with silence, and I'm thinking, and I'm thinking about like it like all sorts of unfinished Business and like things that need to be tied off and like I could just do that now.

Sam: 29:10

Yeah, or or, like you know, I haven't figured out the solution to this. You know, problem at work. Or you know, you know the house, or something right, there's always something and so my brain is thinking about it non Stop, like I can't. I can't tell it not to, if that makes sense.

Tayla: 29:27

Yeah, no, it makes sense, but, yeah, my brain just doesn't work the same way. But I mean, I think we've all understood the science to be like you know, we're on screens which are stimulating to our brains and makes it hard for it to really shut down. Even if you're falling asleep quickly, your brain is not shutting down properly. We're eating late at night, which isn't good for a quality of sleep where Usually listening to something. One thing I will say that has been cool is to learn about the science of sleep for babies, and I have, like, really leaned into that and We've trained our kids and they're excellent sleepers and they sleep all night. They don't really wake up unless something is wrong and they're unwell or something, and so that's been good for me and I can see the principles in action.

Tayla: 30:18

In fact, when I was pregnant with Max and we went to Hawaii February 2021 2022, I mean we were in the same hotel room with Ella and so therefore we had the sound machine that we use for her. It use we primarily use brown noise Was in the same room with us. I I slept so well. I mean part of that is because Hawaii Sun and going to bed early and all that. But I do think that having that specific deep oceanic, constant noise gets into that lizard brain.

Tayla: 30:56

They always talk about how kids like that because it reminds them of the womb, which is very loud like that. But I definitely did sleep better and anytime we've slept with a sound machine in our room I have slept better. Now I can't do that right now because I need to be able to hear the kids If they have something happening in the night. But it is hard to break habits and I think that's why so many people struggle with good sleep is because it's hard to be like I'm not going to look at my phone for the hour before I go to sleep, because that's kind of what they're saying. It takes like put your phone away for a whole hour and don't also look at a TV or a computer screen yeah, the blue light, yeah.

Tayla: 31:32

Yeah, for a whole hour before you like start sailing down into bed. That's. It feels impossible to me, which is probably a bit sad, but do you have any thoughts on like habits that are going to help with quality sleep or getting to sleep, but there are a little more realistic or achievable for, like the average?

Sam: 31:55

millennial, I guess younger. So, on top of trying to just turn off the brain, another thing I like to do is like maybe it's not shutting off all technology, it really is having that one down period. So like one of the things I always ask Tayla is like hey, don't bring up any sort of like things we've got to do tomorrow morning, don't you know? Like, like as we're going to bed, like hey, let's you know, keep anything like that we've got a plan or solve or stress about. Just we just don't talk about it for the last 30 minutes before going to bed. So it really should just be like this one down period where you're like not thinking about stressful things, you're not trying to clean the house, you're you know, this really is a moment for decompression and for relaxation.

Tayla: 32:41

Yeah, that's really hard for me to do actually, because I definitely work a little bit differently, where I have like small bursts of energy right before sleep and I like expel the burst of energy and thought processes and planning, and then I go to sleep. But that sucks when I've just like and I've done it accidentally a couple of times where I've put that all on you and unlike me expelling this last little drag of energy, you're like now I'm latching onto it Now.

Sam: 33:07

I've got to solve all these things that Tayla said that needs solving.

Tayla: 33:11

Oh man, but that's I think that's a good point is just to try and time those more serious conversations or problem solving conversations earlier in the day or even in the evening. Anything else I would say, like the nature of what you're consuming, maybe.

Sam: 33:29

Yeah, sure.

Tayla: 33:30

So like, maybe don't be watching like super action packed or suspenseful things right before you go to sleep, cause that it naturally puts your body into defense mode. I think slightly, you can't relax as quickly.

Sam: 33:45

Yep, I like that.

Tayla: 33:48

Yeah, goodbye walking dead, but we haven't. I mean, we were doing like a marathon and I think we were feeling that we were like we were really enjoying this show, but it's a bit much in the evening.

Sam: 34:01

I definitely agree.

Tayla: 34:05

And then I will say the one thing that has really helped me is having a very clear routine, just like a baby except my routine now looks like retinol and my skincare routine. But, like I do think having a very set self care routine, or even just a routine, is helpful. It helps your brain signal to your brain oh, every time I do this, every day, this is what happens next. Let me start getting ready for that, just like a baby.

Sam: 34:31

Yeah, that's what I'm telling myself as I put my anti wrinkle cream on just like a baby. Nice.

Tayla: 34:39

Yeah, so, um, I was going to ask if you have. I mean, I feel like this is something that the more natural health care industry really leans into is like sleep things, and I think even people that are not so into like natural health care are willing to try. When it comes to sleep, like melatonin and all this stuff, what do you think about, um, the efficacy of those things like taking supplements?

Sam: 35:10

They definitely help. I mean, I, you know, I think where was it? I think when I went to China a few years ago um, it's such a big change, it's such a big trip that that was one of the things that.

Sam: 35:21

I looked into at the time and I mean it seems very effective. Melatonin um, because you you need to be producing it Um and so you do get some users from the supplement Um. And I also believe in mindfulness Um. So if you're struggling to sleep um to to you know, listen to like a 10 minute mindfulness video on YouTube or you know podcast or Spotify and just just take a moment to stop.

Sam: 35:52

Um. That, to me, is is is very important. Um cause, if, if you don't, you know cause, that's what sleep is. Sleep is a moment to stop. So, in preparation for it. You know, actively stop.

Tayla: 36:08

Yeah, and one thing I've seen a lot of people by people I mean influencers, which you will love, not, um, but a lot of people have been emphasizing your sleep environment, not just your room, but like the clothing that you're wearing, the sheets that you're sleeping in, like these small things can contribute to like the quality sleep that you have. And I do think maybe this is something the influences or our generation is focusing more on, because we're kind of becoming parents at this point. Yeah, that's really where I think you're just like no, I will not sacrifice my sleep for anything.

Sam: 36:40

Yeah, and then I wear the exact same thing to sleep every single night and I sleep in a very similar position, and the blankets are in a very specific spots in the pillow. You know, it's all kind of I'm not really like so focused on it, but I just I'm thinking about, I'm like, yeah, I'm, I'm make sure like everything is the same every single time, and then it's like conch.

Tayla: 37:01

Yeah, one thing I've been wanting to invest in is like really nice sheets and like bedding.

Sam: 37:07

How dare you? I love our sheets, they're just like generic normal sheets.

Tayla: 37:15

I'm talking about like the real nice stuff, like really nice bougie stuff. But I will wait I, when we get like a new bed or something, I'll use that as a catalyst for that, but. But I just think you don't need that stuff to sleep well, but it's nice.

Sam: 37:30

It helps you know.

Tayla: 37:33

A lot of people I mean a lot of people that I know sleep in separate rooms to preserve, like married or or partnered people with sleep in secret rooms to preserve their sleep quality.

Sam: 37:48

Interesting.

Tayla: 37:49

Like I have a friend whose parents like have their own rooms now because the husband snores so badly that like eventually again all those benefits that sleep gives you were going away and the moodiness was there and resentment and that just started building up and they're, like you know what, not worth it. Like we'll cuddle and then we'll go to our own beds, we'll have a lovely night's sleep and then we can cuddle in the morning.

Sam: 38:11

That's what I think I mean, cause hopefully we're not there yet, but why I think such a large bed is important. Like that to me was like one of the most important this bed needs to be giant, because I need to at least stretch out a little bit. You know when you're sleeping.

Tayla: 38:25

Yeah, we're in a king bed and it still doesn't feel quite as I mean. It's fun, but I would like to stretch out even more than I do.

Sam: 38:32

I think it's California king. It's got a little extra.

Tayla: 38:35

Aris currently. Yeah, what I mean? Is there anything even bigger than that?

Sam: 38:39

Cause I think it's called like an Alaskan king and the Laskan king and then everything's custom after that, from what I remember.

Tayla: 38:45

All right, that's my, our next sleep goal Alaskan king bed. That sounds amazing, cause I like to sleep in the same bed as you, but same thing, like I think we're very close, like as we're awake, but then, as we both become unconscious, we do separate and like it's trying to take the space.

Tayla: 39:06

So it's not to kick each other or whatever the case may be, so I think you know I remember thinking as a young child or a young adult, think, you know, with my friends being indifferent, I was like no, that's dumb, not worth it. Like you just figured out, I do think if you're in the position where just the your sleep patterns or habits or issues, if they're affecting each other or a person in the partnership, I do think it's worth you know making a change so that you can get quality sleep. It will, I think, improve your relationship. If it's that bad, you know.

Sam: 39:39

Yeah, I can see that.

Tayla: 39:40

Okay, so to end, um, we haven't talked too much about dreams, because dreams are just such a funny part of sleep. I just I want to kind of end on a discussion about dreams, um, and the first thing that I I want to share is that when I was a missionary, so I went on a on like a mission for the LES church, and they're very, very strict rules around entertainment. Like you can't listen to normal music, you can't watch movies, you can't, you know, be on social media, like none of this, right. So, and also, even the books you read are limited. I had like four books, uh, scholastic books outside of scripture, that I could read. So my brain was deprived of entertainment and I remember having the most wacky, vivid, entertaining dreams every single night of my life, and I would always wake up and tell myself, oh, my brain's just trying to give me a little entertaining because I have nothing right now.

Sam: 40:43

That's hilarious.

Tayla: 40:44

So that's kind of, I think outside of you know, my childhood dreams those are. Those have been. That in pregnancy have been my most vivid of dreams.

Sam: 40:52

Yeah, um man dreams, I've. So I've been dreaming again lately.

Tayla: 40:58

but um, just you usually don't remember your dreams, yeah.

Sam: 41:01

Usually don't. I mean I usually. I mean I still I can't remember my dream last night, but I know I'm dreaming, but for a long period. That never helped. I think it was maybe like 12 months or more. Literally, I'd wake up and not remember a thing. It was almost like not dreaming, and so it was just so bizarre, like you just kind of go to bed and then you're like next thing you realize like I'm awake and I don't remember a single thing. I think it was just the lack of sleep. And that's what's happening to me with the lack of sleep, but I'm starting to dream again. So it's pretty interesting.

Tayla: 41:33

Do you have like a specific dream in mind that you can remember, that has like stuck with you for whatever reason? I want to hear about it.

Sam: 41:43

If so, I remember a nightmare. I remember two nightmares that always seemed to happen. So when I'm like sick, like you know, nauseous kind of a sick, and I may need to throw up or not, but I'm nauseous, my brain starts doing math problems and it gets stuck in a cycle of just another math problem, another math problem, another math problem, and I'm keeping me to solve these math problems.

Sam: 42:11

I don't think you've ever told me this, and like literally eventually I get so sick and tired of doing math problems I wake up, and so I think that's about the way of my brain trying to wake me up, because I'm sick and I'm nauseous.

Tayla: 42:27

That's so funny.

Sam: 42:29

Every single time, every single time.

Tayla: 42:32

So funny it's so bizarre.

Sam: 42:34

I have no idea why and I can't not, you know, stop doing that, because it just will do it every single time. And then the other one is I remember a nightmare that's happened multiple times and it's a pretty. You know, common nightmare that people have is basically falling from a very high place and it's usually I'm getting shot up by a cannon or something and so I feel the experience going up and get to weightlessness and then I feel all the way coming down and I've woken up at multiple stages of this coming down portion.

Sam: 43:08

But I also remember a few times landing and basically being dead and then waking up. It was pretty bizarre.

Tayla: 43:16

Okay, so both of those elements I feel like are really rare. So the falling, not rare everyone, but like going up and then down, I feel like it's weird If we could have like a dream. I know you don't think much of dream interpreters, but I would be so curious as to what they would think. And then I've never heard of anyone like not waking up before hitting the ground.

Sam: 43:38

Yeah, I hit the ground and I died and remember just being blank and still and then waking up.

Tayla: 43:45

Wild.

Sam: 43:45

Very, very weird yeah.

Tayla: 43:47

Maybe that's because you've actually died.

Sam: 43:49

Maybe yeah.

Tayla: 43:50

Temporarily. That's a story for a time. By the way, A good story for a time.

Sam: 43:54

Yeah.

Tayla: 43:57

One recurring. So I have obviously a bunch of dreams that I can remember throughout many years, but one recurring element that I started experiencing around 19 as a missionary and then it kind of has recurred, is where I can't see properly.

Sam: 44:13

Oof, that's gotta be annoying.

Tayla: 44:15

And it'll be like something I really need something to happen, or like zombies are chasing me and I'm able, I'm very capable of fighting them and like handling it, but I can't see and it's kind of like, you know, when you close your eyes and they're just barely slotted and you're kind of looking through your eyelashes. That's the kind of vision I have, where you can barely see or you can only see. It's like a slit and I just find that so interesting, like why that? But the other ones have been, yeah, like either loved one related, dog related, child related of just lack of control. So clearly I don't need a dream teller to tell me I have anxiety for his dreams, lack of control, issues, that sort of thing. But I'm trying to think of any funny ones, because I've had a few where I've like woken myself up laughing, that's only happened like twice, but it was the best.

Tayla: 45:10

It's like the best feeling ever. Did you have dreams about people you were dating or that you, like, were in love with?

Sam: 45:17

Not that I can think of right now, I'm sure, but I really haven't held onto dreams. Like I said, there's two dreams that I remember and that's pretty much it.

Tayla: 45:27

Those ones.

Sam: 45:28

Yeah, maybe it's because I don't put any stock into it and it's not very significant to me. But yeah, those are like literally the two that I can be like yeah, removed, how about you?

Tayla: 45:42

My own question. I honestly don't remember like the detail of them, but I know that's happened because I think I've written about them in my journal when I was 16.

Sam: 45:51

You know what I mean Cute.

Tayla: 45:53

Like, oh my gosh, this could be true. It never was never, but you know. Just so funny. But yeah, I mean, if we were to leave with like one, if you could only pass along one piece of sleep advice to yourself five years ago, only five, what would it be?

Sam: 46:15

So pre-kit, it would be prioritized sleep. I think just taking the steps to prioritize it, you will make the adjustments and changes and do the things that will make sure that you sleep better. So just prioritize it.

Tayla: 46:33

Yeah, I would say to really pin down a great routine because that's helped me a lot. All right, thanks for listening to the Babe. What do you know about podcast?

Sam: 46:48

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