Golf

In this episode, Sam and Tayla discuss the enigma of golf, how it affects business and familial relationships, how it appeals to so many men/people, and how best to integrate it into life. 

Transcript

Tayla (00:11):

Welcome to the Babe. What do you know about podcast?

Sam (00:14):

Where your hosts husband and duo, Sam

Tayla (00:16):

And Tayla

Sam (00:17):

Air their grievances publicly for your entertainment

Tayla (00:22):

29 officially. Feels good.

Sam (00:26):

Does it?

Tayla (00:27):

Does? It does. Yeah. I don't mind getting older, I guess. <laugh>, the way to put it, I feel like a lot of people are scared to tow that 30 year old line. I'm not. In fact, he almost convinced me for a second that I was 30.

Sam (00:46):

Oh yeah. Cause I was explaining it. You've lived 29 years and this is your 30th year, so Yeah.

Tayla (00:53):

Yeah. But for some reason, and for some reason my brain heard that, and I was like, yeah. So I'm 30 actually. But obviously we were just recovering from the norovirus at the same time. So maybe that's why. Cause my body was just wrecked.

Sam (01:12):

I still actually don't, my head doesn't feel right. So I don't even know what I'm going to be talking about today.

Tayla (01:16):

Oh no. I was my first day back at work today, and I don't even know what happened, but I've just never thrown up that often for that long. I would take a sip of water to just try and get the throw up taste on my mouth, and then I would throw up that sip, like that one sip. It was horrible. So stay safe out there, friends <laugh>, because Sam and I just died over the weekend. And thanks for being patient on this episode because yeah, we typically record right over when we were sick. So we were going to record last night, which was my birthday, and still really on time, but we thought, nah, we're still dead and let's just relax.

Sam (02:10):

We watched TV and went to bed at nine 30 or something stupid. It was

Tayla (02:13):

Early. Yeah. Yep. Anyway, happy birthday to me. I am 29, <laugh> 29 29. 29 29. Have you found that as an adult, the older you get, the less you remember your age?

Sam (02:30):

Well, so there's like periods, so right around 30 as you hit 30. Yeah, for sure. And then 35, but then there's these areas between 32, 33, 34, I kind of just forgot. And then 36, 37, 38, just kind of forgot. You're just like oh yeah, 30, 37. Yeah.

Tayla (02:52):

So now we're back within that 10 year apart range. I always joke with my family about how we will be in the same decade of life because your birthday's two months before mine, where if it was switched, then we'd have a day or two where it would both be 30 something never, or 40 something.

Sam (03:11):

Never on the same page. Decade was

Tayla (03:12):

Never. Anyway speaking of age, just kidding. I'm going to go ahead and <laugh> introduce our topic today. <laugh>, what a start. I know. So this

Sam (03:25):

Might be our most conflictual one.

Tayla (03:26):

This might be, it might be. So the US Gulf industry is worth 84 billion. That's just the US Gulf industry, and there's a huge international golf industry on top of that. So in 2021, there were 3.2 million new golfers that took up the game. Pandemic wise was one of the few sports or recreational things that were safe to do in 2022. 441 million rounds of golf were played about a quarter of that by you, just kidding. During the Covid golf boom, more than 60 millions, million rounds of golf were played and a number. This had not been seen since the late 1990s. So there was a resurgence of golf during the pandemic. So not only did golfers feel as though playing golf was a release from the stress of it dealing with the pandemic, it was also a great way to increase exercise and movement. In 2022, the PGA Tour set up a 427 million tournament prize purse.

(04:32):

And as an aside, when you were teaching me a bit about golf at first, I just could not fathom how that amount of money is involved with golf as a sport. But we'll get into that. And then the last little thing, I don't know if you know this, but yesterday on my birthday, the PJ announced some sweeping changes to its structure, which appears to have been ripped straight from the live golf playbook with the PGA tour last week, announcing that next season they will see no reduced feel, oh, sorry. They will see reduced feels from 70 to 78 players instead of the a hundred plus and no cuts at eight big money. So 20 million designated events. So at eight events, they're not doing any cuts. So everyone will win money. Am I understanding that right? <laugh>, everyone at those tournaments will win money. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, it seems like it's a response to the threat posed by the Saudi Arabian backed circuit of lived tour. So babe, what do you know about golf?

Sam (05:37):

Oh man. So much. I

Tayla (05:39):

Know. Talk

Sam (05:41):

To me about it.

Tayla (05:43):

So one listener wrote in and said two things. She said, my mom always told me to never marry a man that plays golf. And why? So men, do many men enjoy golf so much? Is it the sport itself? What is the appeal? So why don't you speak to both of those

Sam (06:08):

Things? So I, I had played golf occasionally throughout my life, so whenever I could, it's an expensive sport, and so the barrier of entry is pretty high. So if you know, don't have a lot of money, which we didn't have when we first moved to the states, it was just something that could really do. But I loved it when I played, but so when I say occasionally, I mean there'd be some years, I mean, there was a 12 year stretch I didn't play, but then there was times I'd played 12 times in a year. So yeah, I loved it, but never really got into it because it was never really an accessible sport for me. It was like, you know, borrowed some clubs you played at the cheapest course you could find, and you know, whacked the ball. Loved it. Let's fast forward to 2000. It was during the pandemic, I guess, or

Tayla (07:02):

You were one of those?

Sam (07:03):

Yeah, I was one of the pandemic guys, people, so some of the guys at the office were golfers that they played fairly regularly, had a nice set of clubs, and they said they were talking about golf and how they're going to start playing because it was springtime. And I was like, I'd love to come. I've whacked a few balls and it's been enjoyable. And there was something about playing that time with them that I just caught a bug or something. I just really enjoyed it. I hadn't played another sport though for a good five years, so I hadn't been running and sprinting and playing rugby. I mean,

Tayla (07:37):

It had only been two years. So we'd played slow pitch together,

Sam (07:41):

But

Tayla (07:42):

It wasn't the same.

Sam (07:43):

Yeah. So I hadn't done anything like that, so I hadn't done anything competitive. And then all of a sudden, if you hit a couple good shots in golf, you're like, oh wow, I can do this. And then you suddenly string a few good holes together and you're like, oh, you know what

Tayla (07:59):

A golfer,

Sam (08:00):

I'm a golfer. And you start, if you have daydreams about I can compete, I do this. I don't have to be able to sprint. I used to be able to sprint to be able to be good at golf. So that that's what started the hook was it was like, oh, I could be good at this even as I'm aging. Whereas I think about trying to play a rugby now with some of the bigger guys, and I'm just like, oh, I don't want to go through that pain and all the training and there's just no ways, and I'm way unfit to be able to do soccer or anything else. So it was just something that you can do to still play a competitive sport. And

Tayla (08:39):

Is it competitive? So that's the thing as well. Yeah, that in my mind, I was like, what's competitive about it?

Sam (08:45):

Yeah. So you competitive against your group, and then you are also competitive against yourself. So the general population kind of scores on a golf course or on a hole, and you're trying to get within range of this level. And then as soon as you cross over to another level, you just keep competing in more and more competitive tournaments or competitions or events. So it first started out doing four man scrambles where you all just goofing off and hitting the ball, and then it's now a two man scramble, or I played a single tournament by myself last year. So it's, it's also a sport that's super, super, super difficult. There's a lot of professional athletes that have been so successful in their particular sport, and then they try to play golf and it's just so difficult. It doesn't translate into from one sport into another.

Tayla (09:44):

That actually leads me into a clip I want to play. I don't know if you've heard or this, it's a, A routine by Robin Williams back in the day talking about the invention of golf. Have you heard it? Yeah. I'm going to play it for you because it does speak to the weird nature of the sport, specifically

Robin Williams (10:06):

How they can invent golf. They could have a couple of Guinness, and then the next thing, what's my idea for a sport? A knock ball into a gopher hole. Oh, you mean like pool? No, forget pool. That was a straight stick, a little broken stick, a whack a ball into a gopher hole. Oh, you mean like croquet? Ah, no, not cro. Push. Put the whole hundreds of yards away. Oh. Kind like a balling alley. New way. I push shit in the way I put stuff in the way trees and bushes. So you're whacking the ball and you're sitting there whacking away and you feel like you're going to have a stroke. That's what we'll call it, because every time you hit the ball, you think you're going to die. And right near the end, they'll put a nice flat bit with a tiny flag. They give you hope, and I'll put a pool and a sandbox to grab your ball. You do this one time? Oh, no, <laugh>

Tayla (11:15):

There, have it.

Sam (11:17):

Oh man. I was laughing the whole way through that. That was great.

Tayla (11:20):

Yeah, for, that's from 2002. Wow. That's a long time ago. I missed that guy. But it's just like, who really came up with it? I mean, the Scottish, but it's a very weird sport and that's why it's so difficult. Who designs a, and that's the thing is I play softball so I can hit a ball with a bat, but trying to play top golf or whatever is very odd because the weight is at the end of the thing and you're not swinging across, you're swinging down and up. It just feels very unnatural to my body.

Sam (11:53):

Yeah, it's a very, I mean, it's a very unnatural swing because if you swing how you normally swing, the dispersion or your contact points are just not as consistent. And so you really have to reprogram your body on the timing of when your hips fire, when your shoulders come through, what you're doing with your hands. And you're also have to readjust your whole mindsets about what's straight, what's left, what's right. Yeah. Your distant, yeah, it's a very, very complicated sport.

Tayla (12:28):

So that kind of speaks back to the question by the listener is what is it about it <laugh> that you like? Because I see it feels like it can be very frustrating. Is it truly that you are willing to endure a bunch of time that it's not that fun? Or if you feel like you suck for that one moment where you're like, oh my gosh, I'm amazing. Look at that hit.

Sam (12:57):

I remember being frustrated when I was little, when I was a teenager and I hit a golf ball and it was bad because you have these expectations, you're going to be amazing. But now I don't. And so I legitimately enjoy every hole of golf. I play every single time. It's like, I love it. I'm in love with

Tayla (13:17):

It. But why? What is it actually

Sam (13:21):

The challenge of every shot? It's like every shot is unique.

Tayla (13:25):

So it's a slowed down personal challenge almost. People get into CrossFit or

Sam (13:31):

Whatever there, there's so much variation and complexity in a golf shot. How long is a football fielder? A hundred yards or whatever? A hundred meters. I don't know. I don't, yeah, no, they're in yards, right? 10 yards. Yeah. I don't know. So your standard golf hole is like 400 yards away. So it's four football fields distance away, and you have to get it in a tiny little hole, four football fields away

Tayla (13:57):

That they have to flag because you can't see it.

Sam (13:59):

You can't see it. And so you got to hit the ball very far. And then your next shot, you're trying to get it on the green. And typically you had a 400 yard hole. You've got between a hundred and 150 yards still to go. So that's a hard shot. You're trying to land the ball in a small pool size, landing spots on the grass and have it stay. I mean this, you're messing around with the wind, you're messing around with the slope on the green, and which way the grass is growing on the green. That's your, oh my gosh. It gets

Tayla (14:37):

Pretty. That's what I'm saying. I do feel like a lot of people that are not golfers will hear all these technicalities and be like, what sounds fun about this? Thinking about the grain of the grass.

Sam (14:47):

It's so challenging. It's so challenging. And you have to be so creative in those moments because you can't just go up there and a ball comes at you like softball, and you just hit it in a certain variations. There's 12 spots that you maybe thinking about in softball. We're going to hit the ball with golf. There's just almost feels like an unlimited amount of variation in terms of where and how you're going to hit this ball, but you're still trying to get to that skill level where you can even think about even trying to do something like that.

Tayla (15:20):

I feel like the more interesting or unique thing than even the variation is another thing you just mentioned, which is in pretty much every other sport that involves a ball and hitting said ball, it's a reactionary thing. So you, there's choose when you act, you need to react to an action that's happening. And so it becomes very instinctual. I feel like you can kind of get lost in that, but whereas with golf, it's just sitting there and it's just ready to go when you are. And so I do feel like that can be mentally taxing to try and be like, now I'm ready to go. Now I'm ready to swing. And there's just anything that goes wrong is completely on you. But it does, I mean, it explains why so many golfers are so slow, because you have to be the one to be, it is time to swing now because

Sam (16:20):

Yeah, I mean there's obviously certain what's happening to you. There's obviously certain etiquette and there's obviously certain rules in terms of pace, pace of play. But

Tayla (16:27):

Unless you're a professional, so I remember having, I'm sure there's etiquette around it too, but I do know there was this, my dad when I was small, brought home a tortoise that he had saved because they were about to cook him on the side of the road. They had found him, they were about to cook him for dinner. My dad asked if he could buy him instead brings him home and informs us that this tortoise's name is Sergio. And we were like, okay. And he named him after a guy named Sergio Garcia, who my dad said is the slowest goal forever. He would just take forever to take a shot, I guess. Okay. So I have that association from very young that you could just dle and dabble a long

Sam (17:08):

Time. No, there's still on the PGA tour, when you're playing a competition, there's still a certain time limit to be able to hit a ball. But it's not like someone's keeping a clock and track yet. It's rather just to kind of

Tayla (17:24):

Guide you. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Something else that another listener said it's a short, he says, love to play it, hate to watch it. And that's the other thing that when you started getting into golf, I understood that. And then when golf would be on the TV on Sunday mornings, I was like, why would you watch this?

Sam (17:48):

I know at first I was the same way. At first, I was literally like, man, just get me out on the course and let me start hitting it. But then as I was starting to improve, I started to recognize what was good golf and what was bad golf. And then I started to really pay attention to what the professionals were doing. Then be like, oh my gosh, that was amazing, and I know why. That's amazing. And then you start to learn the players. And there are different kind of techniques because everyone's got a pretty unique swing. There's basically the moments you're hitting the ball, actually making contacts that a lot of the geometry and the movements is the same, but the be between that on the backswing and then the follow through and everything else in between. There's a lot of unique body movements that happen, and people are able to somehow hit the golf ball as amazing as the pros do. So consistently you're like, okay, what are they doing? And so you're watching 'em for that. And then just see their scores on these ridiculously hard golf courses. It's just fascinating. Fascinating. Now, I mean, I watch so much golf content now.

Tayla (18:52):

You do. It's YouTube channels, it's PJ Tours and it's something that very much did not interest me, but you figured out a good gateway for me. And this is something I'm going to recommend. So I'm going to play some audio from a specific golf tournament. <laugh>, the first one that I ever watched

Sam (19:13):

A year ago.

Tayla (19:14):

Yeah, A year ago. It was the first thing on golf that you could convince me to watch

Sportscaster 1 (19:20):

16.

Sportscaster 2 (19:22):

This just moment.

Sportscaster 1 (19:26):

Sam Rider, it added. Talk to me. Come on. Oh my God. There's liquid coming down. There's beer going everywhere.

Sportscaster 2 (19:41):

We are covered in beer and other liquids. I believe

Sportscaster 1 (19:47):

Everyone is

Sportscaster 2 (19:48):

Going insane. We have a slate rain delay here on the 16th, Jim. Cause it's going to take a little bit of cleanup.

Tayla (19:58):

Okay. First of all, I have to say that if I were just listening to audio from a sport and I heard, I would never guess that what I just heard was a golf tournament. Never in a million years would I be like, oh, that crowd and that insanity is from a golf tournament.

Sam (20:18):

Yeah. So the Phoenix opened, or the Waste Management opened is kind of a unique tournament where it's one of the first tournaments of the year, and it's somehow has become this rare golf tournament where all golf etiquette for the fans

Tayla (20:38):

Goes out the window,

Sam (20:38):

Goes out the window. So usually fans are very quiet and they're respectful everything, and they're very polite. But at this tournament I mean, it's massive now because of this. It's 700,000 people attended every year,

Tayla (20:58):

700 hundred thousand thousand. Yes. That's almost a million people going to a single golf tournament. And that's the thing is, so when you explained it to me, I was like, well, this is interesting and weird because I'm just seeing, I think this is one of the, that first moments I saw because that guy just randomly got this crazy shot in the hole at this hugest hole where Stan actual stands have been built around the hole for people to see. And I remember just watching everyone freak out, and then all of a sudden, literally everyone's just chucking their trash onto the golf field as in celebration. And they had to stop the tournament and clean it up. But I was just like, wow, this is not at all how I pictured golf. Not only the etiquette, but also just how many people are there and how into it they are. Yeah. I mean, they're very drunk, so that's one. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> probably contributor, but they just really go for it. It seems like the golfers really like it too.

Sam (22:02):

So the golfers really love this tournament. In fact, almost every single one of them talk about how they wish more golf tournaments were like this. And I think there is going to be more a push to normalize kind of a bit more etiquette,

Tayla (22:18):

Sportsman, yeah. Group

Sam (22:20):

Mentality. So this golf tournament, it's so hilarious when someone makes a bad shot, they boo

Tayla (22:27):

Them,

Sam (22:27):

Right? They boo 'em. Yeah. It's like boo crazy. So you really, it even ups the mental game even more. So people that know how to work a crowd, people that know how to feed off the crowd energy do better at this tournament and those that rather

Tayla (22:42):

Than, yeah, if you thrive in an environment like that, then yeah, probably you would play better. Yeah. But I remember even seeing, I think it was the same tournament last year, was someone took off his shirt or something, and then his player that was, didn't even do anything, also decided to pull off his shirt. It just seems very out outside of the realms of golf. But it was interesting enough to me that I was like, oh, this is actually entertaining. I am enjoying this. And then I just started getting sucked into, oh my gosh, that is kind of a crazy shot. What are the odds that would happen? And then when you get to know players, just like any sport that gets a lot more fun.

Sam (23:22):

Yeah. The learning, the golfers has definitely gotten me to watch golf. So my golf watching now is just so intense because now I'm following the actual players that I like. I'm paying attention on who's doing well this season, who's where the rankings are in terms of the FedEx Cup, which is the long term right. PGA point. And then also who's the world rankings on top of that. And then obviously with the drama of the live tournament starting to compete against the PGA tour, that's also been interesting.

Tayla (23:56):

Have you explain that in a minute,

Sam (23:57):

But yeah. Yeah. So it's honestly, it's been a good time to get into golf. I'm assuming the late nineties and early two thousands had Tiger Woods. Yeah, I

Tayla (24:06):

Was going to say, yeah, I feel like he alone was able to just push golf right into the spotlight because he was such a fantastic

Sam (24:15):

Player. So I've been looking into this. So golf wasn't that golf wasn't popular, it's just that he took it to a whole new level and also a whole new demographic.

Tayla (24:26):

It was in, it's almost like the Michael Jordan of he's that much of a star that even people who don't follow golf know about

Sam (24:35):

Him. So he was so dominant during when he was active that it is at comparison to Michael Jordan where it is just the risk of the field was so far behind him that it wasn't until decades later, till as he's slowed down and have injuries and personal issues that they have risen new stars and being able to compete with Tiger Woods at his peak. So been, so there was that, and then obviously with the Covid thing, everyone just needed something to do because everything was shut down. Everything was shut down. It was one of the few things you could do. And so with the resurgence of people wanting to play golf and watch golf, there's not a bunch of golf YouTubers. Golf companies are sponsoring to create content and

Tayla (25:24):

YouTube channels and stuff.

Sam (25:26):

So there's just a lot more money in the sports, even though there was money in the sport to begin with. Yeah. It honestly is entertaining to me. We even watched the Netflix documentary Full Swing.

Tayla (25:40):

We are in the middle of it.

Sam (25:41):

So I think we got two episodes left. I'm loving it. I mean,

Tayla (25:46):

Yeah, I'm enjoying it, surprisingly. Yeah, because again, I'm starting to know these people too. So

Sam (25:51):

<laugh>, by the way. So Tayla's come golfed with me twice on a real golf course, and both times I've played literally my best golf. So the first time we went to a local golf course called Ble Creek, it's up in the canyon. It's beautiful. So I was like, just come with me. Be in the golf. Oh,

Tayla (26:06):

Pregnant.

Sam (26:07):

And it was pretty pregnant. It just beautiful. And I literally played even paw the whole way through the first nine holes and was like,

Tayla (26:14):

I was just like, oh yeah, this is how Sam plays. Yeah.

Sam (26:15):

This is just how you play golf. You just hit the ball and it goes where you want it, and then you put it in the hole in the designated. It's

Tayla (26:21):

Not that impressive.

Sam (26:23):

No. And I was just like, wow, I'm playing out of my mind right now.

Tayla (26:27):

And then it was Cayman Island. Yeah, same thing. I was also very pregnant,

Sam (26:31):

<laugh>, also very pregnant. And I was playing a super windy course and a different altitude. So there was a lot of variances and not with my clubs. But then I just got hot and there was even that, a birdie that I got on it's like a 215 yard par three. And I was like, man, even going to be able to make it there with this wind. Yeah.

Tayla (26:53):

So probably none of that means anything to some people. Oh, right. But what the lesson you should glean from your performance when I'm around is

Sam (27:04):

You should come caddy for me, honestly. Exactly. Come do it.

Tayla (27:07):

Exactly. I'm not your good luck charm, but clearly there's something about our dynamic that you're like, definitely, I'm amazing at golf, but I, let's go to kind of that dynamic because a lot of there's, and now that my algorithm has been screwed up as far as reels go, and I just get so many, so much content about golf, the, there's a lot of running jokes about how women or wives feel about golf and

Sam (27:35):

Oh, here it comes, the controversy

Tayla (27:37):

Here,

Sam (27:37):

Everyone buckle

Tayla (27:38):

Up. I did find a couple comedians jokes about this dynamic between wife, wives, and husbands to do with golf. But then I do want to speak to it because I do think it's a thing.

Comedian 1 (27:56):

Golf, what does that stand for? Glimpse of a little freedom. That's it.

(28:01):

But no, sports are great men. I am convinced, invented golf to get away from their wives. I'm just convinced of it. A couple of guys just got together in Scotland one day like, oh man, we are so ready to get out of the house. We need a sport that lasts six hours. Good. That's a good start. What else do you want to do? Well, we need little cars to drive around. I don't want to be in shape. That's a must. Let's get that. Now let's flip the scoring around. Negatives. Good positives, bad. That'll throw 'em off. They won't like that. You need to be able to drink and smoke while you play. Perfect. Perfect. Okay. We're missing something. We're missing something. Oh yeah. You're not allowed to talk while you play. Perfect. No woman will ever play this game. That's awesome.

Audience (28:42):

Yeah.

Comedian 2 (28:44):

Thanks. Take up a recreational activity like golf. Any golfers in here, any golfers? I found out the hardest thing about golf is sir, telling your wife, you want to go

Audience (28:53):

<laugh>.

Comedian 2 (28:54):

My wife can't stand golf. Every time I want to go golf, I feel like a little kid.

Audience (28:59):

<laugh>.

Comedian 2 (29:02):

All my friends are going to go golf. I already cut the grass. Wife said It's okay with her. If it's okay with you, I go with him to play golf.

Tayla (29:20):

So I'll let you start.

Sam (29:23):

Well, first let me address some points that they made. One I my favorite golf is not in the cots. It's the little push co that I've

Tayla (29:32):

Got. I know. I

Sam (29:33):

Love walking in nature. It's beautiful. Two <laugh>.

Tayla (29:39):

Go ahead. Make your pitch.

Sam (29:42):

No. So yeah, I find it interesting that dynamic exists but it does. I mean, I've heard that it's across social media. That's a whole thing.

Tayla (29:54):

Well, I could tell you exactly why it exists.

Sam (29:56):

Oh, then do tell.

Tayla (29:58):

So it's

(30:05):

A long freaking time for you to just be gone hugely inaccessible because cell reception or whatever and especially I think you obviously don't do this, but especially if they're also making a whole thing about then taking their time and drinking and hanging out afterwards, what you're doing is you're leaving a wife at home on a weekend when you're getting complete this amazing experience and you're having fun and you get this nature. She has to take care of everything at the home, especially if you have kids alone so that you can do that. It's just a high cost for a lot of hours to not have you there. And even if you don't have kids, because I have quite a few friends of mine who don't have kids, but their husbands are still very into golf. It's just, again, there's just so much time away. I'm trying to, cause I mean,

(31:09):

It's just guaranteed to be a lot of time. I think the other thing is, if you were to just go out with friends, would it feel like as much of a big deal, even if you were gone for six hours maybe. Probably it wouldn't. But I think that's the hard thing is you also can't plan on a time for you to get back. And that's the other thing is when you've been gone for the most part, don't have a hard time letting you go, you really enjoy it. It is a form of exercise. It's good for you. So it's good for us. You're just a lot more present. So that that's not something that we really have issues with. But I do think that how many times has it been that you would come home a lot sooner, but because you got stuck behind a very slow group, or there was this thing that it's like, oh, it's been eight hours. You know what I mean? It's been this, maybe not eight, but you know what I mean. It takes a lot longer. It's hard to plan on getting back that time. And especially if you're playing then frequently. So every Saturday you're just going to be gone for hours. Cool. So I think just that the burden that it puts on your partner for you to be gone that amount of time, that frequently

Sam (32:14):

I can see that. Well golf didn't start that way for me, funny enough. So nine holes felt like it was long enough, which is half around, and it would take somewhere between half an hour to two hours to do nine holes. But after doing that for, I think it was six months, I was like, I just want to play the whole 18 holes. And that takes, if you're playing very quick, you can get through in three hours, three, four hours. And then if playing a normal round, it's four hours. And then sometimes you can get stuck behind people and you don't let you play it through, or it's just overbooked or something. And then it's, it's literally from leaving to getting back, it's six hours. Pretty easy. Yeah, no, it definitely is a big time commitment. And especially if you, you're saying you go every week weekend

Tayla (32:59):

Or if you travel out to different courses. Oh yeah. Then it's another, however much travel time to and from.

Sam (33:06):

The most golf I played though was the last month of your pregnancy and <laugh>. Because what happened was you had stopped working or something at that point. It was, Nope. No. Well, then the last few weeks of your pregnancy, basically as soon as you stopped working and you were at home.

Tayla (33:24):

Oh, it was right after we had the baby.

Sam (33:27):

So right before and right after.

Tayla (33:29):

Yeah. Which was unexpected. I think you were planning on not being able to play.

Sam (33:33):

Yeah. I thought that was it. But then what I'd do was I'd go to, I'd literally sneak in nine holes whenever I could. I was just like, oh yeah, yeah. There's a window golf. That's what

Tayla (33:42):

It is. And I was on leave. So I, yeah, I was happy for, because again, you were sleep deprived. We were sleep deprived. It helped. It did help. Mm-hmm. Getting the sunshine and yeah,

Sam (33:53):

I haven't played that much golf ever again. But there was that little window, I was

Tayla (33:57):

Like, that was the life

Sam (33:59):

That was every moment I got, I was just every like, oh, there's the chi a two hour window. Right now I'm, the golf course is 15 minutes away and I had a membership there, so I'm just go.

Tayla (34:10):

Yeah. My favorite thing is, you know, have a hobby of looking at houses on Zillow and stuff. And it's frequent that you're, look at this house on a golf course. You want to live on a golf course. I

Sam (34:26):

Don't think, have I done that

Tayla (34:27):

Couple times? Yeah.

Sam (34:28):

I'm trying to avoid living on a golf course because you golfers hit houses on a golf course.

Tayla (34:34):

True, true.

Sam (34:35):

Living by a golf course sounds great because you're like

Tayla (34:38):

Right

Sam (34:38):

There. Yeah. Five minutes away. Yeah. I mean,

Speaker 9 (34:41):

Excuse me. Well, we're

Tayla (34:45):

Parents. But yeah, I think that dynamic exists. I think partially for that reason. Because yeah, mother's, wives, especially if I have little kids, I just feel like it's just kind of like, okay, so you're gone 40 hours a week working and then you're going to be gone another however many hours, not with the family,

Sam (35:05):

Obviously. Look, there's give and take to this. So I don't know the individual circumstances and dynamic of everyone's oth other relationships, but I don't see a problem with it. If there is the give and take of, if the husband and wife both work, then they both have time to be able to tackle and enjoy their hobbies and free time. And if one likes to go golfing and the other one likes to go do yoga at night, you just got to figure out that dynamic. One of the downsides with golf though, is one, it costs money. Two, it's at a specific place that's only available at specific times.

Tayla (35:46):

Well, I think that's a hard thing is because I think there can be every intention there to try and equal it out and provide your partner with time and space to recuperate or get that much time to recuperate. But it's never going to happen. What other activity would I have, or would someone have four to six hours doing of just doing that and recharging. And even if I really loved to do yoga, or I really love to do pottery, or whatever the hell I would love to do, there's no way it's going to take four to six hours. And it also just, there's something about the social dynamic where would it be accepted for me to just go and leave the home for four to six hours to do that every single week? No, it should be, but I do feel like, yeah, people would for sure judge that more than someone going to golf for that amount of time because it's more normal accepted that that's just how long it takes to play golf. But

Sam (36:44):

Well, that's why you should take up golf. I mean, trying to get you into golf.

Tayla (36:48):

Yeah,

Sam (36:49):

Just play golf.

Tayla (36:50):

I am not pregnant now. So I mean, definitely am looking forward to trying, but I think they've been smart to try and appeal more to women in the L G L

Sam (37:05):

Pga.

Tayla (37:05):

Pga, not L G B, lgbt, the L pga and also things like top golf. And I think that's really smart because then it is something that's a little more at attainable or a little more within the reach of a lay person, not a good golfer, amateurs, that is still fun to do. So it exposes golfers to golf things that they enjoy, but also kids could go with, or spouses could go with and still have a good time. So I, I've really enjoyed doing top golf and stuff, so I'm excited to try it, the course too. But it is fun to just do kind of toe dips into golf like

Sam (37:44):

That. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I love it too. Not just because of the actual hitting on the golf ball. I, when I go golfing and the people I play with, we don't talk about anything else but golf, which is, it's nice, nice not to have to try and manage a social situation and talking about a bunch of other stuff that you just want to disconnect from a lot of your other emotional things that you're dealing throughout the week. And this is just like, Hey, this is a great way just to decompress, to exercise and not actually have to think about anything else. You're just out there enjoying nature and hitting the golf ball and everything you're talking about is about hitting the golf ball. It's great.

Tayla (38:28):

I think that's why just women just don't get it. Cause I'm like, that's cool, but maybe that's the point. Maybe we don't need to get it. The point is that it makes a lot of men very happy, and maybe it's a healthy thing it taps into for you, especially that obsessive brain with statistics and planning and technicalities. But it taps into all of that while getting your body moving and getting you outside. So I think it can be a good thing. I just do think that it just depends on how you tackle that imbalance, I think in a relationship. And especially, I think it depends on just how present you are the rest of the time. Yeah,

Sam (39:10):

I know. Exactly. So it's not like I can only speak for our relationship in terms of how we manage it. It is pretty much the rest of the week, present in the morning go to work, come back from work and present until the kids go to sleep. And then afterwards I'm present as a husband in terms of, Hey, what is Tayla need? Are we recording a podcast or are you watching tv? Are we hanging out? Are there things that we have to do? I don't make any other plans because I know I'm going to get that one thing when the weather's good because right now the weather's bad. But when the weather's good, I know once a week I'm going to get that good thing obviously, depending on what the schedule is that weekend. Yeah. But we started figuring out Sundays ended up working well for us.

Tayla (39:59):

Yeah, I, I'd be like, this is where I need you and do with what you want the rest because

Sam (40:05):

Yeah, because for us at least, you know, had support

Tayla (40:10):

With, yeah, it was family day and that's too much social stuff for you.

Sam (40:15):

But it wasn't just leaving you alone with the kids to true try true handle two kids by yourself, but you're a able to spend time with your family while I was going golfing on Sunday.

Tayla (40:27):

Something that I will say that has helped us to figure out a good dynamic, because I do feel like we have a good dynamic. I feel like you're able to go often and that when you want to go, I'm not only allowing it, but I feel like I'm very supportive and I encourage you to go when you think about going. But I think part of what has made it easy to say yes is that I do, you will always check with me and plan with me to put it in. You're not just kind of informing me or saying this is happening unless you really put your foot down. And I do think that if I were to say, Hey, it's just not good that you would not go and you wouldn't sulk about it, that makes it easy to then be like, because if I needed him, he would be here.

Sam (41:15):

And for the most part, based around just the resources that we need for the kids. So if the kids don't have help and assistance and we don't have things planned for them, and all the kids are sick, struggling or whatever, it's like, well no golf this week. It is what it is when the kids, especially with the kids. So it's little. Yeah, maybe it'll be different as they get older and they've got friends houses that are playing ads and doing

Tayla (41:42):

Other stuff, or even, I mean, you can start taking them too. Love to do that. So yeah, I think, so maybe a piece of advice that I have is to be n to try and avoid that parenty kind of relationship dynamic that can come in to play with spouses and things like this where it's just that guy said, where you're feel like you have to ask your wife's permission, but then your wife feels like she has to act a parent to help you realize, hey, you have other responsibilities. Why are you making it so that I have to tell you that and help you realize it and plan it in. So I think avoiding that by just being aware and prioritizing things yourselves so that then you can look at that objectively and be like, yeah, this is totally reasonable and totally supportive and let's move forward together.

Sam (42:37):

So we've talked about it from the guard's perspective in terms of what he needs to do, but women can also do a better job in terms of trying to be supportive of those activities. And also, I mean, there's this, it's not just on the guy that he's somehow asking for something that is unreasonable. Again, I can't speak for everyone's relationship and what's it like there, but there's got to be some sort of truth to the memes where women can be a little bit more controlling of their partner's time and have expectations for how they think it should be spent. So I don't know what situation you're in out there, guys, but or have good honest conversations with each other and try be <laugh> open to the idea. An adjustment can be made from your perspective

Tayla (43:34):

For sure. And again, I can could, but I could speak to why what you're saying happens, happens with maybe wives typically being a little more controlling of husband's times the point, the nuances of that probably isn't as important as the principle of just wanting happiness for your spouse and doing what you can to make sure that you're each working towards that in your ways. So I think husbands making sure that your wives are happy and that they don't feel abandoned or ditched with responsibilities or even just that you're not prioritizing them. And you're right, wives, it's so good for men to have things that make them happy. They get them outside men, as you say, it's a sad social thing that men don't really hang out or talk to each other. And it can be a healthy situation for that too. So I think just wanting each other's happiness and trying to work to that together is just the guiding principle of how to handle that so that you want your husband, if he wants to go and play golf, you want that for him. And it's just figuring out how to make it happen.

Sam (44:46):

Yeah, no, exactly.

Tayla (44:49):

But I think that's why that one listener, her mom was just never marry a person who plays golf. Because I do think that, especially, I think this is pre-millennial, just a different age demographic for the most part. But I do think that it was just kind of one of those things where you could kind of swan in and out as a working man come home from work, put your feet up, kind of give your kids a bit of attention, and then chill out the rest of the weekend too. So I think that's a little out of date. I don't think that's the dynamic for people and parenting that much anymore.

(45:27):

So yeah, I like dating a man <laugh> permanently who likes golf because it's a fun nerdy thing. I'm getting into it. I am like, I'm watching more tournaments where I'm like, oh my gosh, that guy is losing it. How many times do I have to watch someone be in the lead for a whole tournament and then just lose it at the end? Drama, watch the documentary. I am enjoying it and I enjoy it for you. And that makes me happy. And so then I enjoy it more for us. And Ella knows about golf, and I think there's just ways to find healthy dynamics, but just a lot of history leads us to where it is. So a last thing I wanted to ask you about is the really weird, unique business aspect of golf using golf as a business jumping pointer or a business meeting. Yeah. Yeah. Talk to me about

Sam (46:27):

That. You've always heard that, right? Yeah. If you want to get into a business or want to be good at networking or something, you should get into golf because all the business deals are made in golf. That's something I heard since I can remember as a little kid. I haven't really found that, to be honest,

Tayla (46:42):

For business specifically.

Sam (46:44):

So in terms of making new business networking. But where I could see the value in this is if you take clients golfing, potential clients, golfing or potential business partners. And the reason is, I think that one, it, it's alone time with this person for hours, and it's not like there's a lot of space to have communication and then just keep going feels

Tayla (47:13):

A lot more natural.

Sam (47:14):

And then you can also suss the other person out. What kind of person is this? He deal with making mistakes. How's he deal with doing well? How's he deal with being better at this or worse than this? Is he honest? Is he keeping accurate score? Is he he super serious in the sport or is he relaxed in it? So there's a lot of things you can judge about a person or maybe the kind of partner there'd be or client there'd be, or vendor, whatever. So I can see that the value of it too. It's also because golf is expensive. There's a barrier of entries. So in certain types of golf clubs and locations, the people that playing there are people that are either very well networked or very good golfers, or just very rich individuals, which is for business. That's always good.

Tayla (48:04):

Yeah, I have found that interesting. But I do feel like it's still a very effective tool for networking. In fact, when you went into Portugal, it was the very first thing that you did.

Sam (48:16):

Just started chatting with the people that you know,

Tayla (48:19):

Went to play golf.

Sam (48:20):

I went to go play golf and chat with people,

Tayla (48:22):

And you found out a bunch of stuff about where to go and what to do because you were able to chat with people.

Sam (48:29):

I know they gave me tell many questions. So they're able to tell me, Hey, you got to go check out this Indian restaurant. Go check out this location, go to this beach, go check out this part of Portugal. You have to go see it. Yeah. So definitely the group that you're with, again, it's obviously very limited you

Tayla (48:50):

Yeah, it's like

Sam (48:50):

Four

Tayla (48:51):

People, six

Sam (48:52):

People. Yeah. No, just four.

Tayla (48:53):

Yeah, that's very little.

Sam (48:55):

Yeah. So it is really dependent on who you get. But in terms of business networking, like I was saying, I haven't really noticed it. And I've played a lot of golf the last few years.

Tayla (49:09):

Okay. That's interesting. Yeah. Very interesting. So to finish up <laugh> for the golfers, because this is you, it's not going to mean anything to a lot of people, but what is your number one tip of golf? If you're teaching anyone one main principle to be good at golf, what is your share that you do?

Sam (49:34):

So I mean, I'm going to say a three things, probably <laugh> because I think the first one is to have low expectations. Take the pressure off yourself.

Tayla (49:46):

So last half empty,

Sam (49:47):

No. So what happens with golf, it's a very, it's more mental than anything else. And if you go in with these really high expectations that every shot's going to be this sort of a shot, you're going to be disappointed. When you get disappointed, you start getting in your head and you start trying hard and you start trying to do different things to

Tayla (50:05):

Fix,

Sam (50:06):

Natural to fix it. It's a very small percentage to hit the ball perfectly. And the more you're in your head, the worse you're going to play. So lower your expectations so that when you do hit a bad shot, which everyone hits a bad shot, if not every hole you've watched, the professional golfers, you've seen them hit bad shots. These guys have been playing golf since they're six years old and they play golf 12 times a week. They still hit bad shots. So low expectations, and so you'll have a more enjoyable time. That's the first thing. The second is

(50:41):

Just swing your swing, even if it's a weird, goofy, weird swing and it feels like a baseball swing. The main part of golf is to have a solid ball striking. And so that means if you swing the club a certain way, but you're going to hit the ball with good contact. That's the main thing. So low expectation, so you have a good time. Focus on just good ball striking. And then the third is your score is going to go a lot lower if you just focus on chipping and putting, because there's a, even if you hit the ball 300 yards, if you can't get the ball in the hole from 10 feet away, two feet away there's still one more stroke. So them

Tayla (51:27):

Yeah, you're welcome everyone. You're welcome. Hashtag sponsored Sam. And my main advice would be to get the wings at top golf. Oh yeah. And watch the ball the whole entire way.

Sam (51:51):

Thank you for listening to

Tayla (51:53):

Babe. What do you know about,

Sam (51:56):

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